Thoughts, Travels, & Pretty Things

Rachel Dolezal: The Most Troubling Facet of This New Race Issue

150612092018-rachel-dolezal-split-exlarge-169I spent the better part of last week covering Rachel Dolezal, the white woman who pretended to be a black woman for a number of years and earned  tricked everyone into voting for her as the NAACP Spokane, Washington chapter president. I’m almost positive that we’re going to see a Lifetime movie of some sort that will attempt to delve into her past to unveil that life-changing incident that set her on a path of lies and deceit. After the ridicule and humor dries up, most will muster up sympathy for this white woman who apparently has to have a “mental illness.”

It pains me even more to foresee her getting a pass and subsequently be propelled to superstar status in the world of political commentary. As the world becomes more receptive to this new normal, networks like CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, they’ll all have paid big bucks to have the wise Dolezal in a panel seat. Blame it on our country’s love for forgetting and forgiving.

Her lies were anything but harmless. As the head of an organization whose sole mission is to fight for rights of the disenfranchised, you go and claim on multiple occasions that you were the victim of a hate crime and/or discrimination? Really? I just have to sit back — and though these two are loosely related — think of all the black and hispanic men that have been wrongly accused in this country, some sitting in a cell for years before they’ve even had a trial, or those who make it out and hang themselves because they can’t deal with the traumatic effects of being tortured over and over again. This woman’s lies are bigger than who she is and they effect more people than just herself and her family.

So since lying is wrong, and she broke the law for filing false police reports, how much time should this criminal get, if any at all?


Familiarizing Thyself with the Word ‘No’

NoYou know what I don’t miss? Driving home from a party two hours away from my house in a mix of groggy, tad tipsy, exhaustion at 4 a.m — or even worse: having to crash on someone’s couch. I now hang my head in shame admitting that I might have put myself and others at risk for the sake of upholding my position as the “loyal and reliable friend.”

[Ed note: I would never, ever get behind the wheel if I was drunk. That’s a “no” in my book.]

But anyway, I’m pushing 30 and the word “no” is becoming just so darn sexy and convenient. I get a thrill every time I get to say it: “Nope, can’t do it.” There are just so many cons to situations that involve leaving my house past 10 p.m.


  1. The egregious activity called getting dressed. Like, why can’t they allow slippers, robes, and bonnets in the club? I’d be there every weekend. Seeing as I rarely ever go out, I’d have to spend hours digging through my closet, trying on clothes that I already know won’t fit. (Work clothes > Club outfits.)
  1. Heels are painful. I’ve mastered the art of busting out a Naomi Campbell walk in 5-inch heels, but should I have to do it if I don’t have to?
  1. It’s late. Seriously, my bedtime is at 10 p.m, maybe 11 if the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” is on. You can’t possibly expect me to get drunk and stay awake for three whole hours.

Some people may call me a prude and that’s totally fine. I’ve reached a point in my life where I realize that time is limited and valuable. More important than the general concept of time is “my time.”

Folks are quit to contribute to the widespread misconception that you’re a “hater” or “not in support” of people if you don’t attend everything they merit worthy of a celebration. Damn that! I’m happy for all the recent graduates, the newlyweds, the mothers and/or fathers-to-be, the people moving to new cities, and those with new jobs. I also reserve my right to express my congrats without forsaken my own comfort and peace.

My mother always told me that it’s impossible to be all things to all people. Sometimes you have to exercise your right to turn down an invitation. If you give all 100% of yourself to other people, then what do you have left for yourself?

Obviously, there are certain exceptions to the rule (i.e. supporting a real friend who has held you down forever), but you should in no way feel guilty about not being up to something.


Beyonce’s Met Gala 2015 Dress Was All About Hoisting Her Feminist Power

An unstoppable force, a freak of nature, superhuman, and at this point in the game, Queen Bey really doesn’t give a f*ck. The press (dressed to the nines, leaned on the barricades in painful heels) waited two long hours after the biggest stars including Reese Witherspoon, Kim Kardashian, and Jennifer Lawrence made it up the red carpet coated staircase at the 2015 Met Gala exhibit, themed China: Through the Looking Glass, on Monday, May 4.

If you thought Beyonce’s MET Gala 2015 red carpet look was all about being naked, then you totally missed the point.

Just when hope for a Beyonce sighting appeared to be a lost cause the supreme diva announced her own arrival with high quality pictures via her Instagram account. Sorry reporters and photo agencies, Beyonce just stole your thunder once again. She did eventually decided to trek and pose on the stairs, showcasing her extremely sheer custom Givenchy gown with cautiously placed multi-colored jewels. Forget about the dress for one second because Beyonce’s body in itself is worthy of all the headlines. Queen Bey’s attendance was all about breaking the rules (i.e. Anna Wintour’s social media selfie ban), while showcasing her earnest dedication to loving her mind, body, and spirit. She didn’t pose in a matter that suggested fear or coyness.

Bey went bold. She glared at the photographer’s pit with passion and though wearing little clothes she remained confident in that presentation. Not even Kim Kardashian — a woman who is naked nearly every 3-4 months — couldn’t pull of a stunt like that with such ease. Though she tried, she took clear inspiration from the whimsical and sultry feel of Beyonce’s 2014 MET Gala dress, which explains the copycat version Kardashian donned in white designed by Roberto Cavalli.

The Beyonce of 2015 is not the 18-year-old we once knew. She’s a mother, a superstar, a CEO, a wife, and worth $500 million dollars. She brings her own to every table and makes no apologies for her accomplishments. She should be an inspiration for all women. Those suffering from Beyonce fatigue should probably run to a doctor to see about a prescription, because she has at least 15-20 more years of reigning to do.

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