Career Over Baby: Why Gabrielle Union’s Position on Motherhood Should Be Respected


Gabrielle Union covers the October 2015 issue of Redbook magazine — and though her radiant beauty runneth over, the quotes she offered are receiving the most attention. The “Being Mary Jane” star, 42, opened up for the first time about her struggle with having a child with husband Dwyane Wade, who’s nine years her junior.

“So far it has not happened for us,” Union said. “A lot of my friends deal with this. There’s a certain amount of shame that is placed on women who have perhaps chosen a career over starting a family younger.”

With Union being in the spotlight after starring in films such as “Think Like a Man,” coupled with her marriage to the Miami Heat star player, the pressure for her to win at motherhood comes from all angles — friends and random Internet commenters alike.

Union tried to explain exactly why she is 42 and without children: “The penance for being a career woman is barrenness,” she said. “You feel like you’re wearing a scarlet letter.”

But of course, her honesty was not received without backlash. Commenters offered up a lot of “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve” talk, calling Union’s predicament an act of selfishness — but is it all even warranted?

Union may be a Hollywood actress, but that doesn’t exempt her from the brunt work of kicking the pavement to go out and find her next role; and with scarce opportunities for black women on-screen (see: Matt Damon’s laughable breakdown on diversity), the free time may not be readily available for her to pause to raise a child.

The dimness of her situation is familiar for a quantity of women — especially those who’ve entered the workforce with thousands of student loan debt on their backs. A 2013 Pew Research study seems to explain the competitive nature of some career women. “Young women today are more likely than young men to say women are paid less for doing the same job and men have easier access to top executive jobs.”

And, that’s not all: Full-time working women earn 78 cents to every dollar a man does, according to the White House.

A photo posted by Gabrielle Union (@gabunion) on

Women are sold the dream of having it all from a young age, but having it all isn’t easy and it doesn’t come without a price. These days women are nurturers and breadwinners, and every decision is a gamble — even choosing to put children off until you can guarantee the lights will stay on.

Personally, as a single woman on the cusp of 30, the thought of never having children is both real and terrifying. I don’t feel ready or financially stable enough to bring a child into the world at this time (I’m factoring in four years of college tuition because I don’t want my child to go through what I did) — and there is no rule book on how to speed up the process. Let’s stop the widespread judging and accept the fact that there is no blueprint for having a family.

Vanity Fair Celebrates White Men Because White Men Need More Praise

Vanity-Fair-Late-Night-Hosts-White-MenIf you thought Vanity Fair’s ode to the current lineup of late night hosts was jarring — shocking in its erasure of all things diverse — then congratulations, you’ve just gotten a whiff of how it feels to be a black woman. Welcome to the dark side, an alternate universe where talent is minimized if not ignored, underappreciated, and where black women are made to feel lucky for any chance of advancement.

Feels weird, doesn’t it? Vanity Fair was just doing its due diligence as the stuffy entertainment publication of note, in sharing with the world that most of the choices for late night TV this fall are nearly identical: white, male, and inadvertently white-washed black male, as the Los Angeles Times put it. All of which reminds me why I always go to bed promptly at 11pm (nothing new to see here folks.)

However, when Vanity Fair led with the headline, “Why Late-Night Television Is Better Than Ever,” in the accompanying article, they seem to agree with shutting the door on talented men and women of different races and cultures.

It is hard being a black woman. We’re automatically characterized as the video vixen or the basketball wife, or the angry single mother. Meanwhile, most of us in the real world are breaking those stereotypical holds by furthering our education, starting businesses, and fiercely climbing the corporate ladder.

Just the other night, Matt Damon had the gall to tell a celebrated black director what she knows about diversity during the 4th season premiere of his show “Project Greenlight.” Effie Brown, who is the mastermind behind “Dear White People,” made a futile attempt to bring forth the racial undertones that exists with having a black prostitute as a sole character to represent diversity in a big budget film.

Damon’s argument? “When we’re talking about diversity, you do it in the casting of the film, not in the casting of the show,” he says to undermine her God-given ability as a diverse producer.

This is the problem with society and why Vanity Fair only has mostly white men to celebrate in its magazine. If black women speak up we’re combative, but if we’re quiet we keep our jobs.

We live in a society where we have to pretend that we like Jimmy Kimmel, the same white man who shed actual tears for a lion in Zimbabwe in lieu of the poor Americans who die in the streets daily.

It’s exhausting to continue to try to beat down a locked door. White men tend to become defensive when you bring up their disregard for inclusion and diversity.

My hope is that the Steven Spielbergs and the Martin Scorseses of the world would take a moment to walk in our shoes.

Black culture is dope as fuck.

We continue to see artists like Iggy Azalea and Justin Bieber nibble at it, but I open the door for any white executive to fully embrace our culture. Just let us guide you. Allow us to tell our stories — without getting defensive or feeling anxious about the editing process (cough, Ben Affleck).

NYFW: Banana Republic x Timo Weiland S/S 2016


So I went to New York Fashion Week and played fashion blogger for a day. I haven’t been on the scene in years, but attending the Timo Weiland x Banana Republic Spring/Summer 2016 presentation (a partnership created in conjunction with CFDA) was a bit nostalgic. I don’t miss traveling from Brooklyn to Manhattan at the crack of dawn in heels just to get to a show. Oh yeah, I also don’t miss struggling to find an outlet or solid wi-fi to get my review submitted before the day’s deadline. Nevertheless, this post isn’t about a past blogger’s fashion week stories from hell.

When I found out Timo Weiland was teaming up with Banana Republic I freaked out. Timo was one of the first designers I ever had the pleasure of viewing during NYFW some years back —and I still remember the vivid patterns and the structured pieces that each made its own unique statement. Banana Republic has been around for years, and still they find new ways to innovate and keep the label fresh without doing too much. Adding TW (the trio of designers are Timo Weiland, Donna Kang, and Alan Eckstein) to the lineup definitely contributes to the fashion giant’s running theme. The colors popped and most of the pieces transition well from day to night. I didn’t get around to the men’s side because #crowd #champagne #hor’dourves, but from what I could view from a distance, the collection is pretty decent for guys as well.