Disclaimer: It’s been a minute, right? Things probably look a lot different around here. I’ve been through a lot this past year and through some miraculous jolt of perseverance, I survived. I’m not 100% where I want to be, but thankfully I’m not where I used to be. In 2014, my life completely changed. Things that I felt were impossible became a reality. Now I want nothing more than for people who know me to live their best life (h/t Auntie Oprah.) If sharing my experience can help another person, then I’m all for that.
— Now on to that good ‘ish —
Is it me or does the idea of setting goals seem like it’s becoming a thing of the past? Just think back to being in elementary school. Back then the learning place took on the mission of incessantly drilling the message that any goal could be achieved “as long as you put your mind to it.” (We’re all familiar with that cliche saying, right?) It’s perplexing now that a singular concept, instilled in us since childhood, is lost on a vast majority of us as adults.
Let’s keep it funky: A lot of us are swimming upstream and hoping and praying that things somehow turn in our favor. We’re hoping the rough currents of life have mercy on our slackness and keep our mediocre asses afloat. If you are leading a lifestyle that is more reactive than proactive, then it is highly likely due to lacking a goal-oriented disposition.
Maybe it is the fear of failure that keeps us from admitting we want more. Or maybe we are so entrapped within our cynicism that accomplishing something we want seems intangible. As a person who has struggled and seen more dark days than light, I’m here to tell you that goals can be achieved, and not just by luck either.
On December 31st of every year, many of us go on a mad dash to conjure up a list of random things we want to achieve called our “New Years Resolutions.” By the end of January this list has more often than not, dwindled and fallen by the wayside and we’ve sunk to a new low in our quest to become more productive.
Newsflash: Success isn’t a sprint — it is a destination that requires making dozens of conscious, self-assessed tweaks along the way.
In a perfect world we all would have held onto that unconquerable, free spirit we had as kids; but in real life, we have to work hard against the spirit of defeat. We have to fight for our optimism to live; we have to concentrate on being focused to actually be focused.
Goals are in essence small promises you make to yourself to obtain your ideal situation. Ask yourself a few questions: Am I living under the thumb of circumstance? Do I play the victim? Are my moves dictated by health, finances, or other things in my life that I am not too keen on? If you answered yes, then stop it right now. Life is way to short for that kind of thinking.
Now that we understand goals, here’s how to make them your bitch:
It really does depend on your personality type and your individual preferences, but, on a broad scale, the best thing to do is to listen to yourself — not mom, not your mentor, not your partner, but yourself. Sit down in complete silence and think about it. Try to feel what need isn’t being fulfilled. What is that special something that you have been itching to do?
Once that idea comes to the forefront of your mind, make a list of the steps required to accomplish it. Next, set a schedule with a finish line, so that you can hold yourself accountable and actually see your goals clearly on the horizon. Finally, adopt a positive mindset, so that regardless how intimidating, disparaging, or out of touch that goal appears — you are confident that success is waiting on your arrival.